The thought was inspired by Swami Yogananda. The message was very timely. My work has been pretty stressful. Thankfully we had a nice vacation planned to Puerto Rico. As I grabbed something to read, I took this pamphlet with the message “Worry Free diet”.

The message is quite simple. As we focus on different diets to reduce weight or gain energy – protein diet, no-carb diet, liquid diet etc, this message is to have a ‘worry free’ diet. Swamiji askes us to do that atleast once a day starting with 30min and during that time, let no worries bother us. No health worries, no work worries, no children’s concerns – simplify a worry free diet.

I tried it and its absolutely wonderful. I didn’t realize how much time I knowingly or unknowingly spent worrying specially about minor things – how will this presentation be received? Will I be able to pick little one on time from daycare? What will the doctor say about this pain? But those 30 min, I have to make a conscious effort and practice to not worry. It feels good. The mind suddenly learns to enjoy the worry- free time! For me, my vacation further helped inculcating it.  Now, I have to work on living it daily!

Will you join me in my worry free diet?

No stress

No concerns

No fears

I am on a “Worry-free” diet

This moment

Suddenly alive

Feeling the warmth

Of motherly sea

She kissed my hands

And took my worries

She showered me

With a gift of calm

 The "Worry-free" diet

And the bliss of peace

Accepting and enjoying

Life’s gifts

The thought of this topic came from our visit to the Children’s Museum in Indianapolis. This phrase for depicted in an exhibit. “Eat Bitterness” means when hard things happen, we learn to endure them.

I don’t like bitter foods – whether its bitter gourd (Karela), bitter medicine or beer! Eating bitterness calls for determination. I am reminded of a Gujarati Poem “Kadva Karela na gun, Kadva vachan na hoy kadva” which means though the bitter gourd tastes bitter, it has lot of essentials to stay healthy and similarly even if words are bitter, the intent may not be. The intent may be to push our potential. Hence “Eat bitterness”.

“Eat bitterness” also reminds me of Thomas Edison. He was 67 and he lost everything in a fire– all his experiments, innovations and money. It was devastating. His thought was, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” What an attitude and what a way to “Eat bitterness”!

In the spiritual path, I think this is tested even more and our Gods have acknowledged and eaten bitterness themselves - Whether its exile of Shri Ram or crucifixion of Christ or the hardships for Prophet Muhammad, all of them ate bitterness.

There are 6 kinds of tastes – sweet, sour, salty, bitter, pungent and astringent. In life, we get all of them. We live with all of them and we eat all of them. Just as I eat and relish sweetness, let me relish bitterness too. Cheers!

The scorching sun

Parched throat

Blazing heat

And miles to go

"Eat bitterness"

She had said

And I go on..

A stream?

Or a mirage?

The salvation

Will come in time

And I go on…

A tiny cloud

Hiding the sun

What a relief

And I go on…

I eat bitterness

I surrender

And I go on..

This topic was inspired by my husband Pranav. Let me paint the picture. I typically get up around 5-5.30am but I take my own sweet time to get ready usually by 7.30am. So on the days when I have an earlier business meeting, I get edgy. I start rushing things, becoming short and making it into a “big deal”. Pranav, on the other hand rolls with the flow. He has to take a 6am flight pretty regularly. He takes it easy after getting up at 3.30 am! He is calm and happy and it’s “no big deal”. I need to and am trying to learn that it’s “No big deal”!

My friend calls this a first world problem. She is so right that we make small things that can and should be ignored into this mammoth endeavor. It’s no big deal!

I often remember the story of this gentleman. His day didn’t start right. The alarm didn’t go off. He was late. Being edgy he spilled his coffee on himself. Finally as he got out of the house, he got stuck in traffic further delaying him. The anxious energy was rising high. Suddenly he saw the accident. That was what was delaying the traffic. And things came into perspective. He was alive. He was well. He had a nice family, a decent job and good health. Being late on one day was “No big deal!”

I remind myself to keep things in perspective, to count the blessings, to be grateful for all we have and let things go. It’s really “No big deal”.

“No big deal”

Is Pranav’s motto

“Let it go”

Is Ashna’s

“Be Happy”

Says my mom

“Laugh it out”

Is mine

“It doesn’t matter”

Reinforces my dad

“Forgive”

Advices daddu 

“Beat it”

Showcases Mumma

“It’s His desire”

Acknowledges my bro 

“Accept the change”

Calls out sis-in-law 

“Drive”

Says bro-in-law 

“It’s all good”

Reminds my friend

“Live in Grace”

Guides the Guru

“Trust me”

Smiles my God

Once upon a time there was a teacher – a Tao Guru – and his student. The student had a bad habit of holding grudges against people. The Guru told him to carry a big bag of potatoes for a week. At the end of the week, the student showed up with an aching back and some smelly potatoes. The teacher mentioned that as we carry ill-feelings in our heart, this is what happens. The heart becomes heavy and the conscious self shows signs of staling. The Guru then asked the student if in the past week he had developed any other ill-feelings and the student realized the trap he has built for himself. The art of forgiveness is the trick to break the shackles of ill-feelings.

Luckily, so far, I am blessed to have no major grudges against people. The art of forgiveness is sure easy with minor grudges! However I have seen people up close who hold on to things for such a long time. A wife, separated for the last 20 years, still complaining about her husband. A daughter-in-law, now 70 years old, bringing up grudges against her mother-in-law that are decades old. However, I have also met a person who daily in his prayers thinks about people he may likely hold grudges against and prays for their well-being. He, for sure, is teaching the art of forgiveness.

As someone has said, forgiving somebody is a gift you give yourself. Imagine the purity and peace if we had no bitterness. For that moment that we reminisce about the painful past, we lose this moment too and we lose the chance to be centered.

As I watch myself, I try to reinforce the art of forgiveness. Join me in the effort to master this art!

No complaints

No grudges

No bitterness

It’s all in the past

I have moved on

And so has he

His thoughts…those events

Are just ghosts

Of the past

Claiming my present

I forbid it

I own my present

I choose to forgive

For my sake!

The thought of this topic came from an article in the Business Insider on a psychologist’s discovery of how not to get frustrated. One of the key reasons he cited was ‘tyranny of should’. “I should have had that promotion”, “She should clean-up her mess”, “This work should have been done” or “I should have behaved a certain way”. The tyranny of should, in short, is the difference between expectations and reality.

I have been a victim of this tyranny! Just last week, I had a long discussion or rather a venting session and it came down to the gap between my expectations and reality. The tyranny of should!

How do we then stop this tyranny? A few thoughts – change the ‘should’ to ‘could’. What could I do? How can I help resolve? Let ‘could’ fight ‘should’.

The tyranny of should also occurs in my case, when I don’t clarify my expectations and have unrealistic deadlines. Let open communication fight the tyranny of should.

Lastly it is what it is. Acceptance is the key here. If I could change something, let me do it. If it’s not possible let it be. I will accept. Let acceptance fight the tyranny of should.

One of these days, I will conquer the tyranny of should. How have you fought this?

Mighty expectations

Unsaid words

The tyranny of Should rises

All the imaginations

And bitter reality

The ‘Should’ tyrant dances

What should be done?

What could I do?

What could I say?

What could I accept?

With the sword of could

I fight the tyranny of should

The thought for this chapter came from a training on EQ (Emotional Quotient). It talked on how we need to be aware of our perceptions. It further talked about concept to “seek to understand” thus reinforcing not who but why.

Let me cite an example. I work with someone who is a nay sayer. She would find all reasons on why something wouldn’t work or complicate a simple process with bombardment of questions. This was my initial perception. As I got to know her better, I realized that she is very detailed and likes thinking through all the scenarios. As she is detailed she expects the team to think through all potential roadblocks. The “why” is her need for clarity on details vs the “who” is being who she is!

Sometimes my ‘judgmental’ personality comes into play and I have to try harder to ask the questions and understand the context. I also enjoy the ‘speed’ of doing things and roadblocks like this ensure I learn the art of patience.

The reminder is ‘not who but why”. What is the context? Why are they asking the question? What is bothering them? What are they scared off? What is their intent? Let’s us seek to understand a different point of view.

Not who but why

Ask the question

Let go the perception

And seek to understand

Not who but why

Explain the context

Open up and

Give the why

Not who but why

Align on the higher purpose

And start there

It’s the why

That holds the keys

To open the door

It’s Christmas time! Radio station 93.9 Lite FM is bubbling with Christmas songs. One amongst them is “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light” – inspiring this thought

Let your heart be light – such a simple line but such a profound statement. Let no worries, fears, stress, troubles, grudges, anger or hatred rule your heart and let your heart be light in its weight. I have started to think of this line as any stress starts creeping in. I keep saying to myself, let me not be drowned in this feeling – let my heart be light….let my heart be light.

Another interpretation – Let your heart be light – implying that I should brighten myself and others surrounding me. Let my heart be the Light and let me light others hearts and souls. It can be through simple things – a word of encouragement, a kind word, and acknowledgement of things well done or simply a smile.

As this Christmas day springs upon me, I promise to let my heart be light. Are you promising that too?

My heart

Light

As a feather

Buoyant

Soaring

Enjoying the wind

My heart

Lighting up

My path

And yours

A tiny nudge

Let my heart be light

Let my heart be light

Today and

Everyday

The thought of this chapter is inspired by the serial “Full House” spoken by the character Joey. The thought is further built up by many books too, one of them being ‘The man who sold his Ferrari’ by Robin Sharma. The crux is that if I begin my thought chain of blaming somebody, complaining or dwelling on something negative, I simply should “cut it out”. Don’t encourage it. Don’t let it grow. Consciously and cautiously let me “cut it out”.

As we may all have noticed, and I certainly have, negative thoughts are a rabbit hole. Whether its fear, whether its finding faults or whether its plain gossiping. At the end, I feel it leaves me with a lower mindset, a grumpy mindset. The key is “cut it out”. Its weird how both complaining and gratitude work and how they spread into everything. I start complaining about something little and very soon I find faults in everything – the sun is too hot, the traffic on the roads is too loud etc. Very soon it starts depicting itself on your demeanor. If instead, I foster the sense of gratitude, it develops and pretty soon I am thankful for everything – a new day, a nice warm day, activity depicted by traffic on the road and liveliness within.

A different thought is if you are feeling negative, be in the feeling and get out of it. It’s the opposite idea of “cut it out”. Somehow I can’t relate to that fully. “Cut it out” is what I feel is my mantra. As I catch myself grumbling, I focus on the mantra and try to dwell on happy thoughts. The more I “Cut it out”, the more I feel closer to my true self. Thanks Joey!

What’s on your “Cut it out” list?

Finger pointing

Complaints

Pettiness

Cut it out!

Holding it on

And on

Greed and anger

Cut it out!

Temptations

And lethargy

A dullness

Cut it out!

“I” am right there

Cut this veil out

And let me in

Let me in 

This topic always reminds me of the last line in Richard Bach’s book Illusions: “Everything in this book may be wrong.” Life is a stage, an experimental laboratory, and a place where you can achieve the most—or be content with the least. Yet, it still is a stage, a place where plays are enacted; and like all plays, it ends eventually. Sadly, only few of us constantly remember this. Forgetting helps while we play the character, but it hurts when we get affected by the environment.

An interesting aspect is that it’s an ever-changing play. The people who have realized that life is a play have reached the stage (or state) of near-realization. Thus, life is a pursuit through age and the various stages of life on a stage to achieve a state. It’s filled with experimentation, fun choices, bad decisions, and default consequences—in a word, “learning.”

We have experienced all three. We see the stages when we look at our parents, our grandparents, our children, and ourselves. Sometimes, it’s funny how we realize our age when we suddenly notice how our friends have aged!

The key is to change our perception and be an observer of the current situation, as if we are in the clouds, observing from above. I often say to myself that the things that concern me today, that are a big cause of worry, will not even be remembered in the next five years, five months, or even five days. Thinks about the times when you were so nervous before an exam. Do you really even think about that day, now that it’s all over?

If we are lucky, we get to meet people who have reached the “stage”—or at least read about them. Of course, for them, the struggle is to maintain the “state.” The fun never ends!

On this stage

I reminisce

The stage I was in

Ten years ago

Out of college—free and wild

Just starting a job

Living on my own

Experimenting and

Experiencing

“Maturity” and “life”

The play continues

In a new country

Stark differences

With abundance of money

But craving company

Enjoying and

Living

“Changes” and “life”

And

A little one joins

The play

Naughtiness and smiles

And stubbornness too

Teaching and

Learning

“Love” and “life”

The stages continue

On this stage of Life

And I work

Sometimes more

And sometimes less

Hoping, wishing, yearning for

That ‘State’

Let the loop run itself out

This discussion / thought was based on an interview on “Super Soul Sunday”, one of my favorite TV shows. The interview was with Dr. Jill, author of the book “The stroke of Insight” on her experience after suffering a massive stroke and functioning from her right hemisphere of brain. This hemisphere helps on the bigger picture and as Pranav observed in meditation we want the right hemisphere to lead us instead of the ego-self on the left hemisphere. Talking about anger, Dr. Jill referred to “Let the loop run itself out”.

For most negative emotions, it takes 90 seconds for chemicals to be generated and released. If we can just let 90 seconds pass and let the loop run out, we would technically control our reactions. Dr. Jill further elaborated that people are angery for years as they trigger a memory thus triggering the loop to begin again.

My learnings hence are – a) Let the loop run out and b) Control your thoughts on not to trigger the loop. For me, I do have a clears sense of self-awareness and repentence as I get caught in the loop. This is more relevant right now with my 2014 resolution of overacting less. Let the loop run itself out!

90 seconds

Is all I ask

To let the loop run out

90 seconds

Of forbearance

Of control

Of patience

Of forgiveness

Of love

90 seconds

…a lifetime

To let the loop run out