We were flying back from Bermuda. It’s a beautiful, small country with the pretty pink sand beach. The water is a gorgeous blue, clear, warm and welcoming. There I came across this thought from an article “Do things that make you gasp”.

This thought goes perfectly with my one-word resolution for 2016 - it’s the word “Courage”. Doing things that make you gasp needs courage. Courage to not let fear of doing it or fear of failure stop me!

The thought also hits on one of the secrets to happiness. If we do things that make us gasp, it will create more enthusiasm in our lives. A little bit of adrenalin is a good booster! Though lets be cautious not to become adrenalin junkies.

The important word for me is this sentence is also the word “you”. It doesn’t talk about what will make the world gasp. It is saying what will make “me” gasp. The three things recently that have made me gasp are :- a) Quitting my job without having another one in hand b) Travelling with my little one Ashna to India on Standby c) Travelling with just hand luggage to India (to provide context usually we would have 4 bags each of 50lbs and instead we came in with only carry-on bags). All of these, I haven’t done ever and all of them have made me gasp. I now have this restless but happy energy and a few butterflies too. Things that make you gasp can tickle too!

A jump

A swarm of butterflies

A brake released

An unstoppable momentum

Gasps!

The energy free

Showing off

Restless and happy

I observe

I experience

I enjoy

Freedom!

The thought of this topic came from a Qigong exercise. It’s like a breast stroke move. The intention behind it is ‘Clearing the Clouds’ implies moving with purpose towards your goal. It also implies clearing the fog, the doubt and the fear in our minds.

I find this concept quite strong. I feel we all face decisions every day. I also feel our decision making is quicker and clearer in some cases vs others. I believe I am a good decision maker. I can choose my food, my car and my time quite nicely. However when it comes to picking out what to wear, I flounder. I can choose something to wear before I go to shower (which process took 10 min) and as I come out I want to wear something different! I guess the sun is not yet out to clear these clouds!

Clearing the clouds takes time and intent. I think it works best when we are clear about our purpose. In the case we had to make a decision about which car to buy. My intent was clear. I wanted a safer car with a good sound system to help listen to discourses at certain budget. I guess once we figure out our “non-negotiables” as my friend Sophy calls it, decision making is simpler.

I feel a big relief when the clouds clear and decision is made. Other than picking clothes, I believe once you make a decision don’t change it and don’t regret it. Live with it, atleast for a bit. I generally use 90 as a guiding number. 90 days to live with a decision. I believe living with the decision helps strengthen our will as also our trust in our own abilities to make decisions and live with them. However post certain time; we should check the decision with long term purpose and intent. To site an example, I had taken a job with the idea that I will learn how to manage a business. On day 3, my stomach churned as I realized it was not for me. I still stuck to it for 90 days and at day 120 I got a hang of it. I eventually excelled at it. However it still didn’t align with my long-term purpose of being centered. Post 2 years, I pushed to do something different. Thankfully it all worked out. The clouds are now clear and I know where and where not to focus my energy!

In case of picking my clothes, I am not clear on my purpose and intent. Rather, I have conflicting intents – some driven by ego. I want to be comfortable and look good; be centered and be chic. I guess, overtime I have to clear the clouds on this one too.

The sky is dark

Cloudy and gloomy

A gray day

It doesn’t rain

And it isn’t bright

A blue day

A sudden ray

And light all around

A changed day

He cleared the clouds

And made space

For the sun

The thought was inspired by Swami Yogananda. The message was very timely. My work has been pretty stressful. Thankfully we had a nice vacation planned to Puerto Rico. As I grabbed something to read, I took this pamphlet with the message “Worry Free diet”.

The message is quite simple. As we focus on different diets to reduce weight or gain energy – protein diet, no-carb diet, liquid diet etc, this message is to have a ‘worry free’ diet. Swamiji askes us to do that atleast once a day starting with 30min and during that time, let no worries bother us. No health worries, no work worries, no children’s concerns – simplify a worry free diet.

I tried it and its absolutely wonderful. I didn’t realize how much time I knowingly or unknowingly spent worrying specially about minor things – how will this presentation be received? Will I be able to pick little one on time from daycare? What will the doctor say about this pain? But those 30 min, I have to make a conscious effort and practice to not worry. It feels good. The mind suddenly learns to enjoy the worry- free time! For me, my vacation further helped inculcating it.  Now, I have to work on living it daily!

Will you join me in my worry free diet?

No stress

No concerns

No fears

I am on a “Worry-free” diet

This moment

Suddenly alive

Feeling the warmth

Of motherly sea

She kissed my hands

And took my worries

She showered me

With a gift of calm

 The "Worry-free" diet

And the bliss of peace

Accepting and enjoying

Life’s gifts

This thought was inspired from a rerun of Oprah Winfrey’s show. She was interviewing 3 young adults each addicted to plastic surgeries. The young woman, 28 years old, has had 23 plastic surgeries! A few nose jobs, lifting cheeks, liposuction of tummy, thighs, hands, and brow lift etc. Funnily she was pretty even before she got all the surgeries. Honestly she looked artificial – like a Barbie doll. She still didn’t like her reflection in the mirror. Hence the thought, “Love thy neighbor but first love yourself”.

The common theme amongst all those women addicted to plastic surgeries was exactly this – they kept seeing imperfections in their reflection. They were not able to accept their own selves. They were willing to go through the pain of surgery and recovery with the illusion that this one would get them back to being ‘ok’ with oneself.

It was quite surprising and sad. I took for granted that everyone loves at least their ownself. It’s easier, in my opinion, to love others and love thy neighbors if we start with ourselves. As Zoe Kravitz says “Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that's when you're most beautiful.

Most scriptures and saints talk about feeling the love for everybody as a stage of enlightenment. First you love yourself, then your neighbors, then the community, then the city, then the nation, and then the world…slowly your love expands to everybody!

I do believe loving yourself is important. Imagine else, we would be spending all our time doubting and criticizing ourselves. The caution is not to become a narcissist. The caution is also to have deep humility. Everything needs to be balanced!

In conclusion, I feel the first step is to love yourself. Let me not be fooled by my image or reflection and get into the tireless endeavor to perfect it. I will start with acceptance. One of these days, with deep humility, I hope to evolve to loving thy neighbor!

My reflection

Laughs at me

What have I done!

In the desire

To look good

I lost myself

I start again

With acceptance

I love me

I really love me

For what I am

With deep humility

I start

This journey

To expand my love

…to you

….to everybody

Searching and bowing

To the God

Within us

“Namaste”

The thought of this topic came from our visit to the Children’s Museum in Indianapolis. This phrase for depicted in an exhibit. “Eat Bitterness” means when hard things happen, we learn to endure them.

I don’t like bitter foods – whether its bitter gourd (Karela), bitter medicine or beer! Eating bitterness calls for determination. I am reminded of a Gujarati Poem “Kadva Karela na gun, Kadva vachan na hoy kadva” which means though the bitter gourd tastes bitter, it has lot of essentials to stay healthy and similarly even if words are bitter, the intent may not be. The intent may be to push our potential. Hence “Eat bitterness”.

“Eat bitterness” also reminds me of Thomas Edison. He was 67 and he lost everything in a fire– all his experiments, innovations and money. It was devastating. His thought was, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” What an attitude and what a way to “Eat bitterness”!

In the spiritual path, I think this is tested even more and our Gods have acknowledged and eaten bitterness themselves - Whether its exile of Shri Ram or crucifixion of Christ or the hardships for Prophet Muhammad, all of them ate bitterness.

There are 6 kinds of tastes – sweet, sour, salty, bitter, pungent and astringent. In life, we get all of them. We live with all of them and we eat all of them. Just as I eat and relish sweetness, let me relish bitterness too. Cheers!

The scorching sun

Parched throat

Blazing heat

And miles to go

"Eat bitterness"

She had said

And I go on..

A stream?

Or a mirage?

The salvation

Will come in time

And I go on…

A tiny cloud

Hiding the sun

What a relief

And I go on…

I eat bitterness

I surrender

And I go on..

This topic was inspired by my husband Pranav. Let me paint the picture. I typically get up around 5-5.30am but I take my own sweet time to get ready usually by 7.30am. So on the days when I have an earlier business meeting, I get edgy. I start rushing things, becoming short and making it into a “big deal”. Pranav, on the other hand rolls with the flow. He has to take a 6am flight pretty regularly. He takes it easy after getting up at 3.30 am! He is calm and happy and it’s “no big deal”. I need to and am trying to learn that it’s “No big deal”!

My friend calls this a first world problem. She is so right that we make small things that can and should be ignored into this mammoth endeavor. It’s no big deal!

I often remember the story of this gentleman. His day didn’t start right. The alarm didn’t go off. He was late. Being edgy he spilled his coffee on himself. Finally as he got out of the house, he got stuck in traffic further delaying him. The anxious energy was rising high. Suddenly he saw the accident. That was what was delaying the traffic. And things came into perspective. He was alive. He was well. He had a nice family, a decent job and good health. Being late on one day was “No big deal!”

I remind myself to keep things in perspective, to count the blessings, to be grateful for all we have and let things go. It’s really “No big deal”.

“No big deal”

Is Pranav’s motto

“Let it go”

Is Ashna’s

“Be Happy”

Says my mom

“Laugh it out”

Is mine

“It doesn’t matter”

Reinforces my dad

“Forgive”

Advices daddu 

“Beat it”

Showcases Mumma

“It’s His desire”

Acknowledges my bro 

“Accept the change”

Calls out sis-in-law 

“Drive”

Says bro-in-law 

“It’s all good”

Reminds my friend

“Live in Grace”

Guides the Guru

“Trust me”

Smiles my God

The inspiration for this topic is the story of King Prithu from Shrimad Bhagwat, a Hindu religious scripture. King Prithu did a lot of penance and as a result God appeared before him. God asked him to ask a boon. The King requested to get 10,000 ears to hear God’s praises and Satsang. Satsang is defined as company with an assembly of persons who listen to, talk about, and assimilate the truth.

The orator, Satish Sharma, who was explaining this story mentioned that we all hear things that we either remember or forget. If we hear with our two ears, we may forget but if we hear with all our 10,000 ears we will remember.

As I reflected on it, what have I heard with 10,000 ears? I know harsh words are up there! Those, I wish I would have heard with just two ears to forgive and forget. On the other hand, I wish I would have paid even more attention and heard the scriptures with 10,000 ears. I am sure that would help me experience Him.

What have you heard with your 10,000 ears?

10,000 ears

And my mind

Hearing

Ignoring

Listening

Focusing

Living

Our ears

Our choice

To keep it in

or throw it out

Once upon a time there was a teacher – a Tao Guru – and his student. The student had a bad habit of holding grudges against people. The Guru told him to carry a big bag of potatoes for a week. At the end of the week, the student showed up with an aching back and some smelly potatoes. The teacher mentioned that as we carry ill-feelings in our heart, this is what happens. The heart becomes heavy and the conscious self shows signs of staling. The Guru then asked the student if in the past week he had developed any other ill-feelings and the student realized the trap he has built for himself. The art of forgiveness is the trick to break the shackles of ill-feelings.

Luckily, so far, I am blessed to have no major grudges against people. The art of forgiveness is sure easy with minor grudges! However I have seen people up close who hold on to things for such a long time. A wife, separated for the last 20 years, still complaining about her husband. A daughter-in-law, now 70 years old, bringing up grudges against her mother-in-law that are decades old. However, I have also met a person who daily in his prayers thinks about people he may likely hold grudges against and prays for their well-being. He, for sure, is teaching the art of forgiveness.

As someone has said, forgiving somebody is a gift you give yourself. Imagine the purity and peace if we had no bitterness. For that moment that we reminisce about the painful past, we lose this moment too and we lose the chance to be centered.

As I watch myself, I try to reinforce the art of forgiveness. Join me in the effort to master this art!

No complaints

No grudges

No bitterness

It’s all in the past

I have moved on

And so has he

His thoughts…those events

Are just ghosts

Of the past

Claiming my present

I forbid it

I own my present

I choose to forgive

For my sake!

The thought of this topic was inspired from the movie “Still Alice”. It is about a woman struggling with an early onset of Alzheimer disease. In a particular scene, she was trying to note her daughter’s recital on the phone. Most of her family asked her not to bother – they will ensure she attends the recital. However the daughter encouraged it – encouraged the feeling of self-reliance.

I feel in disease, other than physical discomfort, it is the feeling of dependence that bothers us. My husband’s grandma, Ba, as we call her, is nearing 90. As I hear her speak and reminisce about her life, it is evident she misses being self-reliant. Funnily, I see the same with my 4 year old Ashna. She has learnt to wear her PJ’s and she wants to do it herself. It bothers her if we try to help! The feeling of self-reliance knows no age boundaries!

I am a believer in self-reliance – both physically, mentally, financially and spiritually. I feel I have made very conscious choices to stay self-reliant. Example financially I have consciously chosen to be a working mom to be self-reliant. For mental and spiritual self-reliance, I read the works of Swami Vivekananda and Swami Yogananda who help reinforce courage of the mind and power of the will pushing self and Self reliance.

Finally we come to ‘s’ and ‘S’ of self-reliance. I am reliant on Self. I trust He has my best interest and I trust Him to direct this life at His will. One of these days or one of these life-times, the small self will merge into Self – I will be truly Self-reliant!

“I do myself”

Says my little one

Learning self-reliance

“I can’t do myself”

Says my grandma

Grieving self-reliance

“I can do myself”

Says my ego

Boasting self-reliance

“I should do myself”

Says my husband

Pushing self-reliance

Let the Self rule

Says my self

Trusting “Self” Reliance

The thought of this topic came from an article in the Business Insider on a psychologist’s discovery of how not to get frustrated. One of the key reasons he cited was ‘tyranny of should’. “I should have had that promotion”, “She should clean-up her mess”, “This work should have been done” or “I should have behaved a certain way”. The tyranny of should, in short, is the difference between expectations and reality.

I have been a victim of this tyranny! Just last week, I had a long discussion or rather a venting session and it came down to the gap between my expectations and reality. The tyranny of should!

How do we then stop this tyranny? A few thoughts – change the ‘should’ to ‘could’. What could I do? How can I help resolve? Let ‘could’ fight ‘should’.

The tyranny of should also occurs in my case, when I don’t clarify my expectations and have unrealistic deadlines. Let open communication fight the tyranny of should.

Lastly it is what it is. Acceptance is the key here. If I could change something, let me do it. If it’s not possible let it be. I will accept. Let acceptance fight the tyranny of should.

One of these days, I will conquer the tyranny of should. How have you fought this?

Mighty expectations

Unsaid words

The tyranny of Should rises

All the imaginations

And bitter reality

The ‘Should’ tyrant dances

What should be done?

What could I do?

What could I say?

What could I accept?

With the sword of could

I fight the tyranny of should