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Guilt and Blame Game


This topic was inspired by a book I read “The Secret life of bees” by Sue Monk Kidd. In the book one of the characters dies and the family starts falling into the trap of guilt. “If only I had done this, he would still be here”, was the common refrain. This in turn reminded me of the death of a close family friend. The husband was in the bathroom when he got a massive heart attack. Unfortunately, he passed away at a young age of 45. The wife took the blame and guilt stating if I she had checked on him quicker he may be alive.


It’s sad to watch how we succumb to guilt and blame game. Somehow we always find a reason for it. It can be simple things, if I had only exercised I would not be this fat or more complex emotions if I had only trusted him more, we would have a lovable relationship. Blame and guilt follow us everywhere.


I notice blame and guilt are over the past events. And I think the root cause is the lack of acceptance of the event, the thing or the person.


Now I don’t like myself fat so I blame my non-exercise routine. Most of the times blame and guilt pull us down instead of giving us the courage to do something about it. I am fat and I am sure if I exercise I will lose these extra pounds. That power, courage and conviction is not seen in the blame and guilt game.


People can also use blame and guilt game on us. I think it’s the manifestation of fear. I am afraid you will leave me so I use the blame/ guilt game to hold on to you. Fear – one more downer.


It’s on us to realize that blame and guilt games are not fun to play. We should rather play acceptance and courage games. Let me forgive my and everybody else’s mistakes. Let me accept today’s reality. Let me find the courage to tread forward.



I waited

But you didn’t show up

I start playing

The blame game

I lied

On my whereabouts

I am now

In the guilt game

Why?

I ask


Break the shackles

He says

Let compassion overrule blame

Let acceptance overrule guilt

Let courage forge


Now, I play

The compassion game

The acceptance game

The courage game

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