The thought for this chapter came from a training on EQ (Emotional Quotient). It talked on how we need to be aware of our perceptions. It further talked about concept to “seek to understand” thus reinforcing not who but why.
Let me cite an example. I work with someone who is a nay sayer. She would find all reasons on why something wouldn’t work or complicate a simple process with bombardment of questions. This was my initial perception. As I got to know her better, I realized that she is very detailed and likes thinking through all the scenarios. As she is detailed she expects the team to think through all potential roadblocks. The “why” is her need for clarity on details vs the “who” is being who she is!
Sometimes my ‘judgmental’ personality comes into play and I have to try harder to ask the questions and understand the context. I also enjoy the ‘speed’ of doing things and roadblocks like this ensure I learn the art of patience.
The reminder is ‘not who but why”. What is the context? Why are they asking the question? What is bothering them? What are they scared off? What is their intent? Let’s us seek to understand a different point of view.
Not who but why
Ask the question
Let go the perception
And seek to understand
Not who but why
Explain the context
Open up and
Give the why
Not who but why
Align on the higher purpose
And start there
It’s the why
That holds the keys
To open the door
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