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Peel the Layers

Peel the layers


The inspiration from this topic came from Rumi’s quote “show me anger and I will show you hurt. Show me hurt and I will show you love. Peel the layers if you care”.


Such a wonderful thought - “peel the layers”. Lot of psychology is based on this too and lot of inner work gurus do is to get away from the layers and identify the core.


I had a spiritual experience yesterday in something as simple as fireworks. Though they were the biggest firework happening this year (2021) in Nashville. First few minutes were ‘normal’. We all were in awe and appreciated it and thought they ended. But fireworks continued. So the next few minutes for me were to burst away all negativities - criticism, judgement, too much advising, body shaming etc. and I thought the fireworks were over.

But it continued! So next time was to bring in all the positivity. Blessings, showers of grace, gratitude, happiness, achievement, family …the list goes on on all. All bursting with energy! And the fireworks were over.


Not yet. So next phase we are done with both positive and negative. So only Krushna (God) remains. And the next set was all forms of Him. Everywhere. Omnipresent. Omnipotent. Omniscient.


The fireworks still continued. Now we are down to nothing. Just energy. Bubbling and vibrant. Untainted. Pure.


The fireworks show helped me peel the layers. Next time I feel an emotion, I am going to go deep into what led it and what is the layer behind it.


How have you been peeling the layers?


Layer after layer

Needs to be peeled

To get to the essence

A new discovery

With each layer

The journey is long

And tedious

But worth it

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  • urmi.trivedi0@gmail.com
  • Jul 31, 2015

ree

Once upon a time there was a teacher – a Tao Guru – and his student. The student had a bad habit of holding grudges against people. The Guru told him to carry a big bag of potatoes for a week. At the end of the week, the student showed up with an aching back and some smelly potatoes. The teacher mentioned that as we carry ill-feelings in our heart, this is what happens. The heart becomes heavy and the conscious self shows signs of staling. The Guru then asked the student if in the past week he had developed any other ill-feelings and the student realized the trap he has built for himself. The art of forgiveness is the trick to break the shackles of ill-feelings.


Luckily, so far, I am blessed to have no major grudges against people. The art of forgiveness is sure easy with minor grudges! However I have seen people up close who hold on to things for such a long time. A wife, separated for the last 20 years, still complaining about her husband. A daughter-in-law, now 70 years old, bringing up grudges against her mother-in-law that are decades old. However, I have also met a person who daily in his prayers thinks about people he may likely hold grudges against and prays for their well-being. He, for sure, is teaching the art of forgiveness.


As someone has said, forgiving somebody is a gift you give yourself. Imagine the purity and peace if we had no bitterness. For that moment that we reminisce about the painful past, we lose this moment too and we lose the chance to be centered.

As I watch myself, I try to reinforce the art of forgiveness. Join me in the effort to master this art!


No complaints

No grudges

No bitterness

It’s all in the past


I have moved on

And so has he

His thoughts…those events

Are just ghosts

Of the past

Claiming my present


I forbid it

I own my present

I choose to forgive

For my sake!

 
  • urmi.trivedi0@gmail.com
  • Jul 18, 2015

ree

The thought of this topic was inspired from the movie “Still Alice”. It is about a woman struggling with an early onset of Alzheimer disease. In a particular scene, she was trying to note her daughter’s recital on the phone. Most of her family asked her not to bother – they will ensure she attends the recital. However the daughter encouraged it – encouraged the feeling of self-reliance.


I feel in disease, other than physical discomfort, it is the feeling of dependence that bothers us. My husband’s grandma, Ba, as we call her, is nearing 90. As I hear her speak and reminisce about her life, it is evident she misses being self-reliant. Funnily, I see the same with my 4 year old Ashna. She has learnt to wear her PJ’s and she wants to do it herself. It bothers her if we try to help! The feeling of self-reliance knows no age boundaries!


I am a believer in self-reliance – both physically, mentally, financially and spiritually. I feel I have made very conscious choices to stay self-reliant. Example financially I have consciously chosen to be a working mom to be self-reliant. For mental and spiritual self-reliance, I read the works of Swami Vivekananda and Swami Yogananda who help reinforce courage of the mind and power of the will pushing self and Self reliance.


Finally we come to ‘s’ and ‘S’ of self-reliance. I am reliant on Self. I trust He has my best interest and I trust Him to direct this life at His will. One of these days or one of these life-times, the small self will merge into Self – I will be truly Self-reliant!


“I do myself”

Says my little one

Learning self-reliance


“I can’t do myself”

Says my grandma

Grieving self-reliance


“I can do myself”

Says my ego

Boasting self-reliance


“I should do myself”

Says my husband

Pushing self-reliance


Let the Self rule

Says my self

Trusting “Self” Reliance

 
  • urmi.trivedi0@gmail.com
  • Jun 27, 2015

ree

The thought of this topic came from an article in the Business Insider on a psychologist’s discovery of how not to get frustrated. One of the key reasons he cited was ‘tyranny of should’. “I should have had that promotion”, “She should clean-up her mess”, “This work should have been done” or “I should have behaved a certain way”. The tyranny of should, in short, is the difference between expectations and reality.


I have been a victim of this tyranny! Just last week, I had a long discussion or rather a venting session and it came down to the gap between my expectations and reality. The tyranny of should!


How do we then stop this tyranny? A few thoughts – change the ‘should’ to ‘could’. What could I do? How can I help resolve? Let ‘could’ fight ‘should’.


The tyranny of should also occurs in my case, when I don’t clarify my expectations and have unrealistic deadlines. Let open communication fight the tyranny of should.


Lastly it is what it is. Acceptance is the key here. If I could change something, let me do it. If it’s not possible let it be. I will accept. Let acceptance fight the tyranny of should.


One of these days, I will conquer the tyranny of should. How have you fought this?


Mighty expectations

Unsaid words

The tyranny of Should rises


All the imaginations

And bitter reality

The ‘Should’ tyrant dances


What should be done?

What could I do?

What could I say?

What could I accept?


With the sword of could

I fight the tyranny of should

 


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